Grateful

Picture of the two of us

Me and my daughter in a beautiful picture 🙂

Lately, in the blogosphere, several mothers of children with disability had reflected on the feelings that the disability of their children make them feel. It surprises me that most of them are still hurt by this, no matter if their child is little or big, or if he or she has a few or a lot of limitations, some say openly that their lives would be easier if their children would not be with them. They talk about abortion, euthanasia.
It stunts me a lot. I used to think that most of us, after a while, got over this that it was only a matter of respect everyone’s times in order to overcome the grief. However there are many factors and experiences that have an influence in each family…

My daughter was born five years ago and today her disability does not cause me any pain. I do not think everyday in her diagnosis, in her brain images, and I can not imagine my life without her. To me, her disability is a part of her and a part of us. I believe that I just overcame that stage of pain and anger when I understood that, that damage brain was nothing less that my daughter’s brain. Maybe it is not the one I would have wanted, but that was her brain. I no longer rejected it and started loving her 100%, no “despite” her disability, but with it. I love my daughter entirely, just as she is; to me she is perfect with all her imperfections. She is so wonderful and happy, and we are so happy with her.
Sometimes I think this is selfish of me. I think I should not like the way things are, because my daughter’s life would be easier if she didn’t have disabilities. But this are just suppositions, the truth is that I do not know how her life, and ours, would have been if she would not have brain damage. I firmly believe that we would be less happy than we are today, that is why I consider this thinking selfish, but it is also possible that she is much happier that she would have been without her neurological damage, because today she has happy parents that adore her, unconditionally, without asking anything in return but her happiness.
We talk about “acceptance”, to accept that whatever happened just happened. To me this word is not enough, I am grateful for what happened because it gave me this marvelous present, in which I do not see, neither disability nor tragedy, I just see a happy daughter, the most beautiful, lovely, affectionate, hard worker, tolerant, smart, quiet, someone who has a lot of friends and a lot of love, a lot of joy and a wonderful smile. I only see how happy we are and all that we have learn and enjoy with her. I can only be grateful for each day that we have been able to enjoy our beautiful and lovely daughter.

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1 Comment »

  1. katy said

    I’m like you. I have days where I think about Charlie’s disability, but not every day and I certainly don’t wish he wasn’t with me. Of course, each person’s journey is different but I feel blessed to have him with us.

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