She seized again.

I hate it. For the second time in her life, my daughter seized. What a horrible feeling!! Absolutely horrible. I think ‘cerebral palsy’ is much easier to accept that the ‘epilepsy’ diagnose. With cerebral palsy you start a new and different life after saying goodbye to a lot of preconceived ideas. So it hurts a while, but life goes on. But epilepsy means she can seize at anytime, it’s a permanent fear. On friday, her backpack was all set up for preschool, it was a normal and happy day… Then in 1 second everything was upside down.

She woke up weird of her nap. She was able to talk and move, but she just wasn’t herself. So it took me a while to say ‘Ok, this is a seizure’ and to apply the prescribed antidote (Pacinax). And now I know that if the seizure lasts longer than 20 minutes, then it’s arbitrarly called a status epilepticus and she has to stay in the hospital for observation. So, imagine my guilt… But she was even talking! Talking enough to say ‘yes’ when asked if her arm was bothering her.

It hurts so much. It kills me that she has to go thru all this. She is a f***ing child! She is MY child and I still haven’t figured out how to help her. Sometimes I think: she is tough girl, she’ll be better… But no child should have to live thru this! It’s a lot to ask. Doctors are just filling her up with drugs that are not even working, so I’m looking for an alternative way. Tradicional medicine is just lost when it comes to the brain.

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3 Comments »

  1. I’m sorry to hear this. I know how horrible this is. I hope that you find something to help.

  2. Thanks, Jacqui. BTW, I’ve been meaning to ask you… Does Moo takes any epi meds?

  3. Tishia said

    I wish I could tell you that it will get easier to witness… It won’t. Every single seizure will tear your heart into little bits because you want to make it leave your child’s body, but you can’t. There’s nothing we can do, only watch it and then comfort them afterwards. 😦

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